Suddenly feel like blogging. BUT... duno where shd i start frm.

WORK

Although it is tiring, hav to wake up early to work but hwever, colleague are nice. cos they treated me very well. for real audit kill alot of brain cells! head almost burst. but overall, i still like it la.

FAMILY

Suddenly feel that i having less time with them le. not like the past where we always meet up to grandpa hse every sunday & almost every sat will go out wif parents. now, duno whether within 3mths gt go once or nt and nw dun really feel like gg out with them le. duno y also. mayb everything in my life changes since my dad market has closed dwn. NO! is ever since my grandma admit to hospital...! everything changed! my beloved warming hm swt hm changed! changed into a cold shell for us to slp. the feeling is no longer remains.

RELATIVE

The most person i miss now is only jia jia! cant even rmb when i last saw her. ever since her operation, i hd nv saw her. none at all. miss her so much. after reading the newspaper, den i realised her condition & hw i wish tat i can do something for her. let her feel happy and warm. even just for a second.

and also i really 'chong bai' shawn. his spirit, his talent. he really made me so touch. he is really a gd boy! 'xiao shun', 'kai lan'. How i wish he cd get into the contest. anyway, he is already and always a superstar in my heart le! shawn! jia you wor! always support u! duno whether there's 'fang shen' competition not. if there's, shawn! u will sure win the contest de! we are always here to support u!

I really love their spirit. They are really brave! hw i wish i cd hav half of it! they are so young yet so 'dong shi'! :) so proud of them.

FRIENDS

As for frd, wat i can say is: i really miss TA27! and as for my 'dear' grp, i duno hw to express my words anymore. suddenly feel so weird with them. i duno y. mayb i nd them to destroy this weird feel! haha.. sometimes, i suddenly feel so lonely nowadays. and i duno who, where, hw shd i approach to. i dun really know why. Suddenly feel tat my frds are no longer as close as b4. really miss the days.

Last..., wanna end with a happy ending... BUT..., i dun seems to have any happy story to share with. and i hope the nxt blog will be a happy starts up and with happy ending. cya! and miss everyone up there who is always there for me!

P.S: i really nd relax!!! i wan to go crazy one more time! i wanna shout! i wanna cry! i wanna scream! let me hav a place to go crazy again please!!!
Fate ended @ 12:55 PM
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I gt a chance to let me used different angle to observe ppl surround me. Some are really helpful while some are juz talking ****!!! Some cant involve in help but they are still thoughful and some having non-response at all. Some are really true frd who alwaysb there whenever u nd them & some are just a passerby but u still treat them as treasure. Who say tat closest frd will always b there by ur side? I dun think so lor! The truth of things happened cd prove my word the sentense to b wrong! extremely wrong wrong wrong!!! Juz a few hrs cd able me to indentified and made my mind cleared!!! Frm there i observed that true frd are usually hidden somewhere that u nv even notice them. & NOW! i wonder... Hw i lived for the past 21years of my life with the eye unopened!!! WAT THE F**KING BEST FRD! Where r all my idi*t best frd gone? where the H3ll r they when i nd them? Not even a reply nor a concent!!! I just cant imagine it!!! whether i had made a rite choice. I think i really wasted my life. Really disappointed! however, there's still true colours in the air where colours up the life in the world. There still alot of my beloved frdz be there. Feeling so touched and so warm. U guys are really helpful and kind. A thousand and million thanks to u guys. U guys fill up the portion of colours into my black and white world which let me feel tat there's at least some colours in my life. and this colours really made me feel better. but i was still sad! really! terrible sad!!!

Actually, i shd tks jia jia. She gives me the opportunity to discover my surrounding and make me realise wat shd nt belongs to me. i am glad tat my discover wasnt tat late.

Those id*t up there! i dun need any explanation. Ur heart wasnt connected to ur mind, ur brain. i made myself clear enough le. & a human being gt only 1life to live and u guys already gt 1 chance but the chance is gone! no making up of chances in my dictionary de. I am cruel enough to accept this world nw! although i dun wish to be! but i hav no choice!

Well, Packing up my emotion now! wanna stop on those id*t le! they are nt worth to let me talk so much ba? To be honest. I really missed jia jia alot. Really had been a long time nv see her. duno hw is she. Jia jia, u must b strong ok? u all are jie jie bao bei. My little xiao bao bei! B strong, b healthy, b brave & cute always ok? give u all my support and love. miss u always...
Fate ended @ 9:12 AM
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This is the 1st sat where i nv go out. i mean nv go out with frd. cant believe ba? haha... I stay at hm, feeling so lazy to go anywhere. waiting for my parents' to buy me dinner. They know me best! haha! cos i dun like to eat rice and they nv bought any rice back cos of me. ;p but was been trick by my mum later on. asking me to go 'poh' hse to help up and she will buy me a french fries. End up, she lie to me! she nv bought me my french fries! but lucky my cousin bought me 2 pkts of fries. haha. if nt, i will start to nag at my mum for the whole day.

Having nt enough slp even since last week, but still enjoy. cos i met my poly frdz! long time no see. really quite alot to talk! those fellow, tony and joey was enjoying with their debate lor. while i, serene, shengbao and celest talk abt other topic! preparing for a sentosa outing nxt time. cant wait for it le! haha..

And also yday went to my cousin wedding. wanna congrat him! :) suddenly thinking, most my cousin has already build up their hm swt hm. nxt time, it's hard to ask them out le. sobsob. time flies really fast. cant imagine. Now for cousins, it's left not much of us unmarried! haiz.. My fun with them will get lesser and lesser or even none le! sobsob.. But anyway, they are really fortunate that they had really found their mr and miss rite! feel so happy for them. :)
Fate ended @ 1:38 PM
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Suddenly feel so warm in the air.. Knowing that i am not alone in this world. Nv tot tat so many frdz so concern abt me. Really so nice. Especially wendy.. nv tot tat she wd read my blog! haha.. Thanks so much to all the frdz wor!

Anyway, blogging to ask u guys to support campus superstar.. The cute little boy boy 'SHAWN'! Zhuo xuan zhen.. M5!!! vote for him wor!!! at 1900-112-7705 or sms M5 to 71199!!! Hee...

Yeah!!! Shawn rockz man!!! U are the BEST! Support u always! Jia you wor!!! & dun over tiredor stress yourself! :)

Hope u able to win in the contest! Loadz of love from us!!!
Fate ended @ 8:45 PM
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My greatest fear is been alone! I scare to be alone! Alone for me is v terrible. I rather kill myself when i was alone. & today, they left me alone.. I was feeling so low, so sad, so uneasy when i was alone. I was angry & tired. I divert all my calls to my sister. But i duno y!!! I went to the beach for a walk alone.. TOTALLY ALONE! & this is the 1st time i am alone. Feel so bad.

Off my hp, Been lonely at the beach. Keep thinking & thinking. Think of some nonsense. No1 able to reach me. Feel so lonely but quiet and comfortable. At that point, i suddenly feel tat been alone doesn't really bad. Mayb its cos i hav been accompanied all the time. nw, i accepted been alone le. and maybe that will be my life in the future. no1 wd noes hw my life will be in future ba! suddenly think tat i was really grown up. Facing of things in the reality nw. My greatest fear has overcome. & i think i hav nothing to be afraid of le. :)

After thinking so much, i finally on my hp. BUT w/o cancel the divert. Replying the sms received. but my sms make lawrence to worry for me. haha.. i duno y also b'coz he ask me whether wanna watch 'pirate' movie & i wanted but i dun wish to meet them. & after that, i guess he think too much & called me. This is my 1st time been alone & wanted to be alone. he was so worried, keep asking where am i. wanted to come & fetch me & even decide to hunt for me when i dun tell him my location. Haiz.. This silly cute 'nan you'! I nv tot tat he worries more than my family does. feeling so touch of having such a kind of frdz. Feel so sorry to make him worry & thk for his concern.
Fate ended @ 11:22 PM
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